How not to talk to your kids

How Not to Talk to Your Kids
This is an interesting read on how to correctly praise your kids…and the potential harm of over-praising or always telling your kids they are “smart.” It stresses the importance of praising your kids’ effort, encouraging them to develop persistence and a desire to work hard at things, and not to be discouraged when something doesn’t come easily. It’s a bit of a longer article…but worth the effort. As it says in the article, “the brain is a muscle. Giving it a harder workout makes you smarter.”

It’s written by Po Bronson, an interesting author and lecturer. I’ve enjoyed skimming through some of his books (What Should I Do with My Life and Why Do I Love these People?)and reading his essays.

The Power (and Peril) of Praise

4 comments

  1. Great article. It really seemed to hit home with me. Collin is very competetive. Wants to win everything and be the best at everything. So, his self-esteem and effort is often affected by his perception of those around him. If he thinks someone else is better at something, he sort of gives up. He’s now reading really well, and I find myself always telling him, “You’re a really good reader, probably one of the best in your class. You’re smart.”

    I guess that may be the wrong thing to say.

    I like the parts about the self-esteem movement in our country, especially in our schools. The “don’t let a kid think they are not doing well” attitude. It is getting old.

    Quote: “Baumeister has come to believe the continued appeal of self-esteem is largely tied to parents’ pride in their children’s achievements: It’s so strong that “when they praise their kids, it’s not that far from praising themselves.”

    This is probably very true.

    Thanks for posting this article. 2 eprops for you Jason. You are really smart.

  2. great article. really made me think about how to deal with the kids… and i’m sure I was in the category of those who might have not done things I knew I wouldn’t be good at because I thought I was ‘smart’ (which i am, obviously)…

  3. Very interesting article. I am now catching myself saying the wrong types of praise when I talk to Collin. It’s tough to praise the effort instead of saying, “you’re smart.” But it really makes sense.

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